Parents Need To Know
It's important to ask to see your child's phone for a phone check every now and then. It's not unreasonable for you to know what apps they have on their phone, their passwords to those accounts, and who they interact with on these platforms. They will kick and scream and make it seem completely unreasonable, but I assure you it's not. Everything that I have learned over the past few years about online bullying, and child sex trafficking enforces the idea that not only is monitoring their phone very reasonable, it's also very necessary.
People hear the scary stories on the news and it always seems like a far off problem that happens in other towns around the country. You think "That won't happen here" or "But she's a good kid, she's smart and would never get caught up in that stuff". That is a false sense of comfort and it's dangerous to believe in. By allowing yourself to believe this won't happen it robs you of the ability to safety plan and protect yourself and your kids against it.
This isn't going to help a couple in serious crisis, however I do think it would be great for a couple in a good or neutral spot. It's a little intense to do all of these and every day, however there are some good ideas on here to put on your agenda occasionally.
How To Raise "Good Kids"
I think there are so many insecurities that come along with parenting. Everyone has an opinion on what you're doing, how you could be doing it better, and "hey by the way, this is how I did it". On top of the never ending opinions that feed insecurity there's the everyday stresses like: work, relationships, in-laws, track meets... the list goes on.
The truth is we all know really good parents who have children who have gone really off track. I think we look at those parents and we think "Oh God if they can't get it right who can?" . Then there's those parents you might view as less than stellar and their children grow up spectacularly. It's easy to wonder if there's even a pattern to all this or if it's just dumb luck.
One of the most important aspects of being a "good parent" with a "good kid" is to model good qualities and behaviors. Be the people you hope they emulate. This article has some great tips. They seem stupid simple, but I've found that's usually where the most true answers are in life; hiding in plain sight The actions that make you a better and more balanced person are what are going to help you kid along too.
Remember that parenting is hard, it's the hardest job there is. Everyone is trying to figure it out. Be kind to your fellow parents, and be kind to yourself, and maybe, just maybe your children will see that kindness and reflect it back to others.
I've mentioned this several times in session as a effective coping skill to help people fall asleep. I was able to find a nice guide on how to do it, and it doesn't hurt that it has cute pictures and GIF's that go along with it. Enjoy!
Staying active and connected
Recently I was out to dinner with a good friend and I noticed a cool ring on her index finger so I complemented her and asked if she'd gotten it on her recent vacation. She said no it wasn't a souvenir and started to trail off....
She laughed nervously and shared that it was her "anxiety ring". She began spinning the beads around with her thumb to show me. She explained it was something to fidget with when she was having anxiety, and stated it had been especially helpful at work. I wasn't sure if it was just a cool ring she had found that she called her anxiety ring or if this was an actual thing out there and I'd never heard of it.
Either way I didn't ask, most likely because the bread arrived and I dug right in, but you better believe I went right home and pulled up Etsy (my favorite place to find jewelry) and typed into search "anxiety rings". Suddenly my feed was full. Apparently other people thought this was as genius as I did. I immediately starting making a mental list of all the people I wanted to tell about the anxiety rings: friends, family, colleagues, and clients.
I "favorited" one of the rings that I thought I might order to give it a try. I was delighted to see the next day the owner of the Etsy shop messaged me thanking me for liking the ring and informed me about a current sale. This is good customer service I thought. I told her I knew a bunch of people I thought they'd be great for and asked if it would be OK to write a blog and link to the rings.
Jackie did one better and set up a special coupon code for people I sent her way. I'm giving this code out to friends and family, posting here; heck- I might even make confetti out of it and start tossing it around!
I know I'm constantly fidgeting with my own rings, often dropping them on the floor in the middle of talking to people, or incessantly opening and closing the clasp on my watch. It's always helped keep me focused and grounded to have something to fidget with. What I like about these rings is they can stay right on your hand and you can spin the beads. But if you're not as open as my friend, all anyone needs to know is that it's a ring. The fact that they're hand made by a woman looking to help other women is just icing on the cake.
The sterling silver option is practical and classic
But I'm also a sucker for the green beads....
Head over to Jackie's Handmade Crafts and do some shopping. Use the code MOLLYSBLOG at checkout and get 20% off through July. Get a little retail therapy in and let me know how you like your new bling :)
The Weight We All Carry
This blog is less about my writing, and more about sharing inspiration. I'll post pictures, articles, and videos that I find interesting, moving, or just funny (funny being a loose term here as my humor is generally of the nerdy psychoanalytic variety).