God do we all need to hear this sometimes. I see people all the time beating themselves up for the slightest dip in their process. The idea is of course to make the ups and downs less of a dramatic drop and raise, but know that when you dip that you're still on the path to healing.
I think there are so many insecurities that come along with parenting. Everyone has an opinion on what you're doing, how you could be doing it better, and "hey by the way, this is how I did it". On top of the never ending opinions that feed insecurity there's the everyday stresses like: work, relationships, in-laws, track meets... the list goes on.
The truth is we all know really good parents who have children who have gone really off track. I think we look at those parents and we think "Oh God if they can't get it right who can?" . Then there's those parents you might view as less than stellar and their children grow up spectacularly. It's easy to wonder if there's even a pattern to all this or if it's just dumb luck.
One of the most important aspects of being a "good parent" with a "good kid" is to model good qualities and behaviors. Be the people you hope they emulate. This article has some great tips. They seem stupid simple, but I've found that's usually where the most true answers are in life; hiding in plain sight The actions that make you a better and more balanced person are what are going to help you kid along too.
Remember that parenting is hard, it's the hardest job there is. Everyone is trying to figure it out. Be kind to your fellow parents, and be kind to yourself, and maybe, just maybe your children will see that kindness and reflect it back to others.
Evaluate the company you keep. Know what kind of energy you take on. Not everyone will recognize and appreciate where you're going. That's totally fine, they're not on that road. But you didn't end up here by accident. Trust your journey. They don't need to leave your life, but they do need to step aside and let you get shit done.
This one gave me chills. How many time have you felt dismissed? Like somehow the very real and important emotions you were expressing were swatted away and devalued as irrational, stupid, wrong, overrating, frivolous... the list could go on.
The people who hurt us get so wrapped up in the idea that it wasn't their intention to hurt us, and they show us that in all sorts of ways, like justifying their view, discrediting our evidence, deflecting onto another issue, or avoiding. These people aren't monsters. If they were we probably wouldn't love them so much, and wouldn't then be so hurt by them. People are funny when they feel they've hurt someone. I think the immediate response for so many is denial.
It is not the intent that matters. If you hurt someone attend to them as though they are hurt. The details can be worked out later.
This has some great insights, simply put.
This really speaks to one of my all time favorite topics: Priorities. I think the heart of what hurts so many of us is when our priorities don't line up with that of those we love. Beyond hurt even, most of the time when we're angry it boils down to not understanding or respecting how the other person priorities line up.
This blog is less about my writing, and more about sharing inspiration. I'll post pictures, articles, and videos that I find interesting, moving, or just funny (funny being a loose term here as my humor is generally of the nerdy psychoanalytic variety).