These Boots Are Made For Walkin'

Some people see this as quitting, but with the right circumstances I think throwing in the towel and preserving yourself and your sanity is actually the healthy move. The problem is we sometimes tend to take things really personally- I know I do. It's helpful for me to look at it from this perspective-  the things not meant for me. 

I remember when I was first starting out in the field there was a situation at work that became intolerable for me. I was promised a position and did all the work to live up to that future position, and when it came time for my boss to actually make good on her word she walked her promise back. For those of you who have nightmare work situations with a boss you understand what I mean when I say it took a huge hit to my self esteem and self worth. I was having lunch with a mentor of mine later that month and she said "Molly, this is nothing more and nothing less than a relationship that didn't work out, I think you need a change". At first I felt like I just wasn't being understood, didn't you hear how unfair my situation was? But the more I thought about it the more free I began to feel. It was like magic. I was able to see this discord as a function of the relationship between two co-workers and not a reflection of me as a person. But first I had to choose to let go of the injustice and indignant rage, and decide to see it this other way. Once I did- it was so simple after that. I walked away from that place and never looked back. I landed in the exact right job with the right team and it felt wonderful. 

Sometimes I think back to the turmoil of that time- I jumped through hoops to make a situation work and in the end it never could because it wasn't a good match. How beaten down would I have been if I continued to try to make things work there? I think of this piece of advice years later, and it helps me to take the personal hurt feelings out of it- not everything is meant for us, is a good match for us, or is built to work out. Be proud of yourself when you recognize that and have the courage to turn around and find something that does.