Did you ever notice it's so much easier to think about how something we really love or want can go wrong? We see it as practical to plan for worst case scenarios. For a lot of people they tell me it gives them something solid to hold onto, and a sense of control to plan for the worst. Being prepared is very powerful indeed. I never try to take that away from anyone; but I try to make sure they prepare themselves on all sides, and what if, just maybe it all works out exactly as you wish. I think it's very important to put just as much, if not more, energy into that beautiful thought.
Patience is a virtue. A virtue I'm not anywhere close to having. It's a punch line of mine that I may in fact be one of the most impatient people on the planet. I have this "I want it now" way of thinking, and needless to say it pretty often gets me into trouble, or gets me to quit something out of frustration.
Working on finding patience is an every day chore for me. I actively work on this issue every single day, which I usually find annoying, but I still do it. One of the ways I go about being a more patient person is I try to reflect on all the millions of ways I'm actually very patient. I think about how I helped teach my friend Diandra to drive when she moved here from NYC. I remind myself of how caring I am with my young nephews, and so on and on.
Then I look at the frustrating problem in front of me and I try to find one tiny piece of gratitude for the situation or problem (because if you know me you know I believe gratitude to be the magic elixir of life). So this looks like instead of going bonkers in traffic- which is my biggest trigger for impatience- I express gratitude I left the house early enough, or if that's not true, maybe that the person I'm meeting will be totally understanding that I'm a few minutes late, or that it's not me that just got in the accident thats holding everyone up. It calms me down to think this way.
It's small consolation in moments of grief. I find the amount of grief is proportionate to the amount of love, and where love is present there eventually will be grief.
Some see this as a reason not to love, and to save themselves that eventual pain. These efforts are futile. When love demands to come in, it will with or with out permission. This cycle is a part of life and our human experience. Do not rob yourself of love, and the growth that accompanies grief.
Yes grief will come, but love was first, and love will remain.
When I was in graduate school I was chatting with a professor casually and I was talking about a choice I had, one option being the more scary of the two. She looked at me very kindly and told me that the choice was clear. "If it scares you or you're worried about it, it probably means that's exactly what you need to do".
Now that was a little backwards from how I was feeling at the time. I was thinking Oh that's the scary one, I should definitely do the other. We all think that way sometimes. But choosing the safe option doesn't grow you very much. I started practicing this from that very moment and it's proved to be the most valuable advice I've ever received.
Do what scares you.
This blog is less about my writing, and more about sharing inspiration. I'll post pictures, articles, and videos that I find interesting, moving, or just funny (funny being a loose term here as my humor is generally of the nerdy psychoanalytic variety).