Did you ever notice it's so much easier to think about how something we really love or want can go wrong? We see it as practical to plan for worst case scenarios. For a lot of people they tell me it gives them something solid to hold onto, and a sense of control to plan for the worst. Being prepared is very powerful indeed. I never try to take that away from anyone; but I try to make sure they prepare themselves on all sides, and what if, just maybe it all works out exactly as you wish. I think it's very important to put just as much, if not more, energy into that beautiful thought.
It's such an important lesson all women learn sooner or later. Someone else's success doesn't take away from yours. It's actually a promise of your own. Other's success is like a wink and a nod from universe that the things you want do come, and that they can and will come to you too. Replace jealousy or envy with gratitude and joy for others when faced with their achievements and watch how yours too begin to grow.
The best thing helpers can do is model what they want to see. The way I try to do this is I practice what I preach. I can't talk (and charge!) clients about coping skills and self care, if I don't live that life myself. It'll be fake and my clients will know it. I gotta take care of myself before I tell anyone how to take care of themselves or their relationships.
I think about this message especially for parents. We talk a lot about the influence peers have on children, but I would say that parents hold an even bigger role. Parents are the ones teaching children about becoming an adult, about relationships, about what it means to be a man or a woman. It's the basis for all knowledge. The first seeds are planted at home as babies, and as those babies grow and gain other influences they still continually look back at their caregivers to orient themselves.
I haven't met any parents who don't love their children and want them to shine. But I've met a lot of parents who don't always show it in the most constructive way. The best way to have your kids shine is for you to shine too. That's a message they'll get loud and clear every time.
I firmly believe that living in a state of lack creates more of that same feeling. Sometimes you need to let it go. Realize you've done your budgets and worked the numbers. Factor in some luxury, and it will help attract more. Leave room for abundance.
What a concept. It's one of those things we say to other people but is always difficult to practice. I admit I see the benefits of waiting, but I recognize that it's such a delicate balance to work towards and attract the goals you so badly want and deserve, and also remember there is also an element of surrender in all this.
Putting out exactly what you want, being super clear and working hard, then taking your hands off and letting the Universe take care of the rest. Trust that she knows what you want and need.
One of my all time favorite books is Stolen Lives by Malika Oufkir. It's a memoir (in the Oprah's book club obviously). It had a profound impact on me due to the phrase pictured below.
Long and wonderful story short: Malika's whole family was captured and jailed for 20+ years. At one of the prisons in the very beginning of their journey they met an old woman who was said to be a psychic of some kind and told the family they would indeed be free and somehow escape, she said: "Zouain zouain bezef". Which is an ancient Arabic phrase that translates to "It will be miraculous, very miraculous"
These words kept Malika's family going for the next 20 years. Believing they were living a predestined miracle made it so they could overcome everything their captures thrust upon them. In their darkest times they would murmur to one another "Zouain zouain bezef"
I remember reading it at the time and thinking How wonderful is that? "Miraculous" struck me as such a special word. Who wouldn't want to believed their life was going to be a miracle?That somehow everything that is happening now is all leading to miraculous and wonderful endings. It struck me as a daring new idea that perhaps I could view my own life as "Miraculous" too. What would be different about my journey if I told myself "It will be miraculous, very miraculous".
It's made every ounce of difference, and I've realized that miracles come when you believe in them, and because you believe in them. Some people say they'll believe it when they see it. Malika's story showed me that it's actually the other way around, when you believe it you'll see it.
This blog is less about my writing, and more about sharing inspiration. I'll post pictures, articles, and videos that I find interesting, moving, or just funny (funny being a loose term here as my humor is generally of the nerdy psychoanalytic variety).